August Reflections
a much needed turning point from my depressive episode
This month was 9 years without Mommy Dee and more heat and more genocide and more disappointment and more friendship and more capitalism stress and more ice cream and more hair knots and more spills on my couch and more books to read.
Currently:
Loving:
I ate more of these than I’d like to admit but also this hit so hard in the heat.
I started the month off with a weekend trip to visit Wildseed Community Farm with some friends for their Full Moon/10 year anniversary event. I ended up there because of meeting one of the stewards of the land at my residency in March. The love she emitted when I turned up and said hello with my people. Highlights of this time were definitely the opening ceremony and fire cacao ceremony under the moons light.
That fire stirred something in me. I had never been around a fire on such beautiful and intentional land with that many black and brown folks - there had to be like 30+ of us, of all ages. The crackle of the fire with the voice of children and sounds of insects and hushed voices and prayer and song and a parent cooing to their baby and the drum. Ugh. That residency continues to gift me beyond my time there.
Folks camped there and spent the night on the land:
My bestie lover roommate Marian wanted to try this out and I thought it came out pretty cute:
This painting my best friend since High School made me for Mommy Dee’s anniversary. It’s a version of this photo I love from her wedding day.
Celeste <3
Celestie my lil bestie. I was fortunate to see her twice this month. She’s 8 months old now and I can’t believe our birthdays are 3 months away!!! That really means we’re at this last stretch of the year.
Connecting with Comrades 1:1
I’ve been meeting with new members of the org Im in to get to know folks a bit more 1:1. I know that not all comrades become friends and I also know that I value relationships beyond the surface to build true trust and solidarity.
The birthdays I got to celebrate this month <3
The madlovely show I went to shoutout Melika and Adam for being so cuties. I think friendship is so magical and important. Watching Adams parents since along actually healed something in my lil heart.
Reading:
From May 2025, “A thrilling book about the abounding queerness of the natural world that challenges our expectations of what is normal, beautiful, and possible.”
bestie chris gifted me Surviva by Cannupa Hanska Luger
Watching:
I’ve been re-watching original Charmed with my partner and damn are these bitches annoying lol. Really the youngest 2, they did Prue so dirty … a storyline of endless misery. But entertaining watch and I love the early 2000 effects when the demons die.
Weapons
Went to watch this and I honestly appreciated the entertainment. I love a witch story I’m not gonna lie. I also love a story where kids save themselves cause adults are incompetent. I would definitely watch again.
Couples Therapy Recaps on Youtube
This one time I was watching a season, was early on still and got it spoiled cause I saw one of the queer one’s out with a new boo at a Gush party. Just New York Lesbian things. Wish the YouTube would update with more recaps honestly~
Making:
Some at home crafts, tested printing my own negatives and testing out how they’d take the UV.
I was brought onto this project to offer some of my collage ~
I taught another round of my Collage class at The Peoples Forum and here’s what I came up with and made with some of the scraps. I also made a lil IG post with some Photo Booth photos and a collage as the background.
Thinking About:
I (read we) cannot get caught up in the comfort of the global north and give into despair or pessimism and must keep going.
Words from Jamie Tyberg:
THE PANDEMIC CONTINUES
I’ve been in transparently darker grey area with my masking. I continue to do it in public transportation and crowded spaces. In the heat and honestly some socially motivated ‘I feel weird being the only one’, ‘this place isnt full really I’ll be okay I think’ ‘I don’t wanna have to speak loudly’ moments I haven’t worn it. I do feel that guilt and shame and contend with my values in the after of those outings.
It also comes with the reality that the newer friends in my life don’t mask and I think we’ve hit the point in this pandemic where I feel like I shouldn’t have to /ask/ you to mask if you notice me actively doing it (so yes I still even mask around those people but on and off) and I feel !!weird!! asking people to make “big” differences like that in their life cause that has backfired on me a few times. As it gets cooler Im gonna turn that darker grey into a lighter grey since I won’t overheat as much and because my values translate to community safety re: pandemics.
The feeling of recommitting always hits too with I see my friend Fi DJ in their hot pink mask every time.
My mother leaving NYC at the end of this month to move to Florida…
Too personal for the internet but imagine being 16 of tumblr.com levels of thought dumping here if the internet were a safe space like that again.
Listening to:
Did a thrifting day trip with my partner and a friend and this played, reminding me of its existence. It felt like when I heard Instant Crush for the first time in years. I fell asleep listening to it on loop one night.
Also want to acknowledge that I’m still using Spotify which I feel SUCH UGH about and also hate Apple Music and this is one of those BDS brands that I am really struggling with truthfully.
Gonna See Michelle for their last NYC show!! Ahhhh
This played at a birthday bbq and it was such a vibe.
Until next time,
In Love, Solidarity and Liberation.